who needs the new testament when you can get the ‘new new testament’

The New New Testament

Jesus Laughing. (See, the caption on the book's cover even says so.)

Santa Claus has come to town and has brought you a shiny new Bible. In fact, from the looks of things, Santa may have written it himself. But this is no ordinary Bible, it’s a New New Testament. The New New Testament’s author, Ken Maley, doesn’t consider himself the author, but instead goes by the title, “The Scribe” (beating out U2’s “The Edge,” wrestling’s “The Undertaker,” and Canadian classic rock’s “The Guess Who” for best “The” name). This is because The Scribe claims that the New New Testament is “rewritten through Jesus and the Original Authors.”

And “The Scribe” wants you to buy his book hear the new new revelation that Jesus personally told him to write. So, he did what prophets and recipients of divine revelations have always done: he set up a website, complete with praise from reputable individuals such as:

“Exactly what Jesus would say if he came to earth again! Perhaps this is how he will come again.”  –  Christian Person
“What Christians have been seeking for centuries. Literally millions will love it.”   – Catholic Bishop
“Speechless! I am totally amazed at what is here.”   – Person with ties to India and Hinduism
“Poetry for my soul.”  – Protestant Minister
“Marvelous! My wife and I have read John’s Gospel through twice to each other. Our favorite phrase: ‘God’s Heart is so big you can’t walk out of it.'”   – Couple with a Mormon background
“Many will find that this book is miraculous, since Jesus brings us into the Heart of God.”  – A Seeker

(Personally, I have always found the recommendations of “Person with ties to India and Hinduism” to be quite compelling.)

This Bible is more than a new translation; it is a completely new revelation that just happens to closely resemble the old New Testament in modern parlance. However, in this New New Testament, The Scribe channels Jesus and Paul and offers introductions in the first person to each of the Bible’s sections. The gospel of John has been moved to the beginning because it begins with “In the beginning,” and because it possesses the thematic passage for the entire New New Testament: We are all gods. (John 10:34). According to The Scribe, “The translators or scribes who changed this passage could not believe what Jesus had said, so they simply changed it to fit their own beliefs.” So, naturally, The Scribe is changing it back to what it should have said because, well, Jesus personally instructed him to do so.

And shockerrrrr! It’s available on Barnes & Noble.com for purchase.

Jesus is indeed laughing (see the book’s cover).

For more about The Scribe, read below or check out the website, where The Scribe offers up a personal narrative about himself. And do watch the YouTube videos. They alone are worth it.

(And I should also ask from a serious scholarly standpoint if this is how Jews 2000 years ago reacted to rewritten Biblical texts. Was the reaction to 4QRPa/4Q158 “Rewritten Pentateuch” or the Genesis Apocryphon the same as our reaction to the New New Testament? Just a thought…)


From the “About” section:

Ken was ordained a Catholic bishop, though not Roman Catholic, on Easter of 2001. And because of his Native American blood, he promised a long Vision Quest in the desert to open more fully to Jesus and Spirit. It was during these three months that Jesus first asked him to rewrite the New Testament, but he did not have the courage to do it at that time. When the Call came again in 2009 he was more prepared and agreed to the arduous task, knowing that many would believe he was delusional or even worse. But what Jesus wanted done was more important to him than what people might think of him.

Because of his Vision in the desert, he began the Moviemiento Buena Nueva de Jesus in Latin America to share this Good News.  The tenth anniversary of his Vision was the same day that the New New Testament was finally published. His dream is to have his Catholic Spiritual roots reach down through to the original Spirituality that Jesus proclaimed.  What Jesus preached was not legal to write or talk about in his time, and so could not be openly proclaimed in the original New Testament.  It was for that very reason that Ken was asked to rewrite our New Testament to include Jesus’ basic Teachings.

Jesus told him very clearly that this New New Testament was not to begin a new sect or Church, but simply be a spiritual tool for those open to his Real Message.

(HT: B&I via the Sac Bee)

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7 Responses

  1. If he doesn’t tell me who wrote Hebrews I’m not interested!

  2. The “New New Testament”? It seems that after raising Lazarus from the dead, turning water into wine, and walking on water, Jesus got a little unoriginal and slightly boring when He told “The Scribe” what the title of this ridiculousness should be…

  3. [...] producing the “New New Testament” – in other words, rewriting it as he sees fit. See Bob Cargill’s thoughts on the subject and also Jim West’s brief [...]

  4. Well dangnit Dr Bob, whoda thunk folks would think he’s delusional–obviously the man is a PROPHET !

    I, for one, am going to convert first thing tomorrow morning!

    Regards
    j

  5. Am surprised that none of the people commenting here have actually read the New New Testament. How can they be so very sure about what Jesus is doing when they have not read it?? The Scribe

  6. Probably because they have not had the great fortune to have met you personally, as I have. + Martin P. (UK)

  7. Perhaps if you offered your book for free download, people would be more open to read it. After all, divine revelation should be available to everyone not just those willing to provide monetary advantage to the author.

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