steve anderson really likes peeing standing up ‘like a man’

I feel bad for the editors of the New King James and New International Version of the Bible, who according to Pastor Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe Arizona, are ‘males’ and not ‘men’ because they ‘pee sitting down’ rather than ‘pissing against a wall’ like real ‘men’ (like the KJV says to in 1 Sam. 25:22; 25:34; 1 Kings 14:10; 16:11; 21:21; and 2 Kings 9:8)!

Indeed, the church’s website is correct when it describes Pastor Anderson thusly:

“He holds no college degree but has well over 140 chapters of the Bible memorized word-for-word, including approximately half of the New Testament.”

(I’m guessing he took the easy way out and memorized them in English.)

There are so many things wrong with this fundy’s logic (or lack thereof) that it’s difficult to know where to begin. Obviously to this guy, the English KJV is the only ‘inspired’ version of the Bible (although it was written originally in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, and an intimate knowledge of these three languages will always better inform the reader of the text than a translation).

Second, he obviously has male superiority complex, as he has completely bypassed the ‘male vs. female’ debate that confounds so many fundamentalists, and has skipped to arguing ‘man vs. male,’ where ‘male’ is apparently more effeminate than a real (English) ‘man.’ And God help the poor German men (see the 2:17 mark).

But perhaps the best example of this man’s skewed logic is this fact: according to him, R. Kelley (as spoofed by Dave Chappelle) would be the ultimate man.

I shake my head at fundamentalists of any religion.

HT: RL

About these ads

11 Responses

  1. (I’m guessing he took the easy way out and memorized them in English.)

    ————————

    Guffaw!

    Despite my current respiratory infection, which has given me a voice like Sam Elliott, I seriously laughed out loud at that one. That was some razor-sharp humor.

    I’m not feeling up to doing the research at the moment, but I thought that it was only the Douay-Rheims translation that used “pisseth against a wall”.

    If that turns out to be correct, then this guy would probably be seriously … pissed.

  2. Ummmm … I usually do relieve myself standing up, but I prefer the use of a toilet or at least a urinal to the wall.

    Does that make me less of a man?

  3. My grandson, who is 18 months old, is definitely a MAN … he does it wherever!!

  4. When his enlarged prostate starts interfering with his urinary stream in the early morning, he will find himself sitting down just to relieve the pain. And when he finds that the prescription which shrinks his prostate also reduces his ejaculate to nil . . . well, I would like to hear his sermon on that day.

  5. I wasn’t going to go down this road, but…

    My military background taught me to pee sitting down, because it is QUIETER and because one does not need to turn on a light in order to aim. If one is being clandestine, then noise and light are the first enemies to defeat. Otherwise, you don’t get close to the real enemy. Even my critics do not accuse me of being unmanly.

    ———————————-

    OK, all seriousness aside (well … almost all), the video reminded me of an old Monty Python routine in which an evil incident occurs, and then a couple can’t decide whether to call the church or the police. Someone loudly suggests that they call the Church Police.

    A man arrives at the door, and the woman says, “I’m so glad that you came, Parson.” The man quickly corrects her: “Vicar Sergeant, madam!”

    ———————————-

    And, now, for something completely different.

    His comments in the video cause me to wonder whether he has sent his Church Police to investigate the bathroom habits of those writers whom he criticizes. And, given that he has made a vow to always pee standing up from now on, that causes me to wonder two things: 1) is this a confession that he has pissed sitting down in the past?, and 2) will he confess to his congregation, and seek their forgiveness, if he pisses sitting down — even once — in the future?

    ————————————

    And, speaking of linguistics…

    As he seems to be so fixated upon the King James Version, would it be considered bad language because he said “pisses” a couple of times, instead of “pisseth”?

    ————————————-

    I do stand corrected on one point.

    The KJV does use the word “pisseth”. It is not only the Douay-Rheims version. Here is the link to my electronic search.

    http://www.biblestudytools.com/search/?q=pisseth&c=&t=kjva&ps=10&s=Bibles

    (By the grace of God, I’m coming out the back side of this respiratory infection, and thus have a little more energy for research, etc.)

  6. Yup, respecting your house and not wanting pee stains all over the bathroom (or just wanting an extra chance to play Angry Birds) sure does make you a She-male….

  7. The “pisseth against the wall” phrasing isn’t a flight of King James’s poetical fancy. It IS what the original Hebrew literally says. Regardless of that, if Pastor Steve comes to my house, he’s welcome to pee standing up, but if he pisses against the wall, I’ll punch him in the face.

  8. Jason, I agree. I wonder how his wife feels about his habit of peeing on the wall.

    I guess she’s too submissive to say anything, right?

    Anyway … So, if he as to do 1 and 2, does he have to change positions?

    I’m almost certain that Jesus didn’t want the Church to be obsessive over this kind of thing. When striking out against legalism, I’m pretty sure that the freedom to relieve oneself however one wishes was part of that.

  9. LOL, Jason. Right on.

    ———————————

    I think that, linguistically, the “not one that pisseth against the wall” is meant as a strong form of emphasis that no one will escape the coming wrath, and to convey the intensity of God’s anger.

    The fact that it it used four times in the Bible tells me that we humans have stirred up a lot of His anger.

    Were it not for salvation in Yeshua, we would all be doomed.

  10. though i do not think that the KJV is the only inspired text, i find that altering the words of the Bible to fit modern secular culture to be very wrong.

  11. Hey, Steven! I am a man too. I always pee while standing. See:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,999 other followers

%d bloggers like this: