steve anderson really likes peeing standing up ‘like a man’

I feel bad for the editors of the New King James and New International Version of the Bible, who according to Pastor Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe Arizona, are ‘males’ and not ‘men’ because they ‘pee sitting down’ rather than ‘pissing against a wall’ like real ‘men’ (like the KJV says to in 1 Sam. 25:22; 25:34; 1 Kings 14:10; 16:11; 21:21; and 2 Kings 9:8)!

Indeed, the church’s website is correct when it describes Pastor Anderson thusly:

“He holds no college degree but has well over 140 chapters of the Bible memorized word-for-word, including approximately half of the New Testament.”

(I’m guessing he took the easy way out and memorized them in English.)

There are so many things wrong with this fundy’s logic (or lack thereof) that it’s difficult to know where to begin. Obviously to this guy, the English KJV is the only ‘inspired’ version of the Bible (although it was written originally in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, and an intimate knowledge of these three languages will always better inform the reader of the text than a translation).

Second, he obviously has male superiority complex, as he has completely bypassed the ‘male vs. female’ debate that confounds so many fundamentalists, and has skipped to arguing ‘man vs. male,’ where ‘male’ is apparently more effeminate than a real (English) ‘man.’ And God help the poor German men (see the 2:17 mark).

But perhaps the best example of this man’s skewed logic is this fact: according to him, R. Kelley (as spoofed by Dave Chappelle) would be the ultimate man.

I shake my head at fundamentalists of any religion.

HT: RL

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dear fox news, please stop trying to be religious scholars, because you suck at it

allow me to welcome jim west, who will set this one up for us:

I’m trying to think of a word that describes people worse than dilettantes.  Idiots?  Imbeciles? Morons?  People who should NEVER talk about or be allowed within 10 miles of the Bible or biblical interpretation?  Or, more accurately, all of the above.  Because all of the above certainly describes Fox News and their utter unfamiliarity with anything related to Scripture.

A page on Fox Nation…claims Obama “misquoted a familiar Bible verse” during his address yesterday:

President Obama misquoted a familiar Bible verse during a faith-based address at the National Prayer Breakfast.”Those who wait on the Lord will soar on wings like eagles, and they will run and not be weary, and they will walk and not faint,” the president said during a speech to several thousand people at the breakfast.

But the actual passage, from Isaiah 40:31, states: “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Somewhat ironically, while Fox Nation appears to be positioning themselves as the arbiters of authentic Christianity, they seem unfamiliar with the fact that there is more than one version of the Bible.  Obama was  quoting from the New International Version while Fox Nation was pointing to the King James Version to “debunk” him.  This would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic.

Really Fox, please, please, just shut up.  Just shut up and never talk about the Bible or Christianity ever again.  Every time you do (or Beck does or O’Reilly does) you all just prove to the rest of the world how thoroughly moronic you are.  You’re not just dilettantes.  You’re far worse.  You’re Fox News.

i’ve said it before, i’ll say it again: the sooner people at fox news stop trying to be theologians – i’m looking at you bill o’reilly (here) and glenn beck (here and here and here and here) – and stop trying to establish themselves as religious authorities attempting to cultivate some sort of christian version of sharia law, the better off we’ll all be.

just admit that you only want to criticize president obama, and don’t mind using some sloppy biblical exegesis misinterpretation to do so.

don’t you think that a journalist with even a shred of integrity might hear president obama’s speech and say, ‘hmm, that sounds like a verse i know. i wonder if he’s using a different translation?’ nope. instead, this ‘fox nation‘ report (note that the name of whoever wrote that ‘article’ is nowhere to be found) just assumes that obama misquoted scripture and started ranting, betraying both his/her own ignorance of the bible (and its translations) and his/her (religious?) animosity toward president obama.

dear fox news: please stop pretending to be religious scholars, because you suck at it.

via Zwinglius Redivivus

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